Messy matriarch, dater of disastrous men, writer of provocative prose.

On holiday in Amsterdam for my 47th birthday, with my 29-year-old boyfriend behind the camera.

Sounds like there’s a story in that photo caption… There’s a story behind most of my bad dating decisions, so it’s a good thing I’ve made lots of them!!

Writing about relationships is a bit vulnerable and raw but I’ve also had some fun exploring my reasons for staying single. I’m rather partial to a feminist rant or two and that’s not always compatible with meeting new men without scaring them off.

Who am I?

Everywhere I go I seem to have a lot of doppelgängers. People are always telling me I look like someone they know. I’ve actually had someone argue with…

Spoiler alert: it was not the sausage factory I expected.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

At the tail end of 2020 I maxed out my credit card to join Tim Denning’s Medium ‘Bad-Assery’ Course.

I naively expected the wave of a wand and a Penn & Teller style reveal of how the magic really happens. I wanted the mystery of Tim’s success to be explained and for all of us to be pumped out as carbon copy Tim Denning write-alikes, prepared to dominate the Medium market.

I thought the process might be crude and messy but the end product would be worth it.

What I learned was valuable but not at all what I expected:

1 — It doesn’t matter who teaches you, you still have to do the work

From bonus to bust — impostor syndrome is plaguing my every waking moment.

Photo by Uday Mittal on Unsplash

Or is it the friction smoke from my flying fingers?

Photo by Marcus Aurelius from Pexels

“Are we nearly there yet?”

I can now relate to the favorite cry of children on long car journeys the world over — the 30-Day Challenge felt like a very long journey of discovery.

But it’s done and lessons have been learned.

Here is my pledge post that I wrote at the beginning of July.

Well, we didn’t have hell or high water. But some pretty hot weather and a couple of thunderstorms here in sunny Scotland.

With hindsight, taking on the 30-Day Challenge at the beginning of my son’s summer break was not the smartest idea I’ve ever had.

How to make 2021 end better than it started

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

In the words of Mary Oliver’s famous poem “The Summer Day”:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

It’s the height of summer and so far we’ve had another year of contemplating the meaning of life as the world crumbles around us.

Whether you’re having a good year, an okay year or a disaster at this point, here are some tips for making the rest of 2021 your year, and a whole lot better from now until the bells chime to announce the end of December 31st.

I’m not a fan…

Are women’s shorts too short or not short enough and can we ever get it right?

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

If you ever doubted the existence of a double standard dress code for women compared to men, the European Handball Federation just blew that out of the water.

And the gold medal for standing up for what is right goes to the Norwegian beach handball team who wore — shock, horror — shorts in a game of handball.

The European Handball Federation has fined these women — not for misconduct, not for drug taking, but for refusing to wear bikini bottoms while playing their sport.

This level of control and regulating of women’s bodies needs to end now. Look at…

What the actual heck is the point of this tit-for-tat garbage?

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

I just read the most shameless piece of written garbage I have ever had the misfortune to click on.

A guy wrote an article suggesting that a woman had no right to complain about being shamed for her large boobs because in his opinion they are things of wonder and she should be grateful for them.

I’m paraphrasing slightly, but that is the gist of it.

I could pretty much tell what the piece was about from the facetious and fatuous wording of the title — “My Boobs Are Just Too Big, Firm and Delicious: What ever will I do?”

It’s hard to believe what you can find lurking in the bowels of Medium

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

It all started when I hopped on the comments section of a great story by Rebecca Stevens A. about why her black friends think she should stop writing about racism — and why she has no intention of doing so.

The article is powerful and the comments section is full of support for her valid stance.

But one commenter picked out a statement that the murder of George Floyd was race-related and chose to demand a citation.

This response elicited a few heated replies from other readers, pointing out that no citation was needed — the original commenter then also…

Why believing the “Beauty and the Beast” myth is toxic

Photo by Vadim Sadovski on Unsplash

Too many of us are still waiting for our prince to come and rescue us, and whisk us away to his golden palace.

We have been sold a lie. A lie wrapped up in colorful princess costumes and catchy earworm tunes.

When Belle in the animated movie “Beauty and the Beast” rejects her obnoxious suitor Gaston and his fantasy of domestic bliss, her alternative is a life of isolation with a monster who needs to be educated to be able to treat her with basic human decency.

This isn’t very feminist, or good for women at all. …

Rosalind Pagan

Top Writer in Feminism, exploring personal healing and informing others in the process | Science nerd | Perpetually curious | Single mama|

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store