Messy matriarch, dater of disastrous men, writer of provocative prose.

Sounds like there’s a story in that photo caption… There’s a story behind most of my bad dating decisions, so it’s a good thing I’ve made lots of them!!

Writing about relationships is a bit vulnerable and raw but I’ve also had some fun exploring my reasons for staying single. I’m rather partial to a feminist rant or two and that’s not always compatible with meeting new men without scaring them off.

Who am I?

Everywhere I go I seem to have a lot of doppelgängers. People are always telling me I look like someone they know. I’ve actually had someone argue with…


Some of them just can’t handle the truth.

You know those times when you tell friends about the sexist behaviour you’ve experienced?

If your friends are women, they will probably nod sympathetically or roll their eyes in that “tell me about it” way. Men will be shocked and appalled but they will commonly phrase their reaction as, “I find it hard to believe anyone behaves like that.”

You hear their sympathy, but listen to what is really being expressed with that response: disbelief.

As a woman, I have been experiencing sexism since before I even understood what it was.

When we weren’t allowed to wear pants at school…


Embrace change and live your life intentionally.

“The sunk-cost fallacy keeps people for too long in poor jobs, unhappy marriages, and unpromising research projects.” — Daniel Kahneman

I’ve been guilty in the past of standing still when I should be moving forward.

I stayed for 17 years in a marriage that made me miserable because I was trying to “do the right thing.” I can’t get that time back but it is part of who I am and it has informed a lot of my subsequent decisions. …


After ten weeks of no booze, I’m seeing real change.

I haven’t had any alcohol in my body for ten weeks now. The benefits have been clear — as demonstrated by my clear skin, clear eyes and clear head.

I started tracking my sleep stats with a smart watch and the SleepWatch app on my phone in December 2020.

When I realized what I was doing to my body and my health, at the end of March 2021, I made the tough decision to quit drinking.

I wasn’t a heavy drinker or alcohol abuser. …


What has she got that I haven’t?

Whoop, whoop — bonus time!

I was thrilled to see those lovely words and numbers on my pen name profile — thanks to “high member engagement.” Saucy.

I’d received an early June bonus of $100. Not the highest bonus possible but very welcome nonetheless. I have bills, they’re multiplying.

And then I checked my main profile — this one. I can’t complain, I receive two payments from Medium every month, but I was disappointed when there was not a similar bonus on this account.

Do I need to try harder? What’s the magic element my pen name account has that…


Science shows it’s not about celebrating fat, it’s about feeling fabulous at any size.

Your body works better when you’re thinking happy thoughts about yourself.

I used to think the body positivity movement was going to make me fat. But here’s what I learned about joining the “BoPo” movement and the real science behind it.

Psychoneuroimmunology — it’s a big word but in essence all it means is the way you feel about your body determines how well you are. It is the real science behind the BoPo movement.

I have been guilty in the past of blaming fat people for being fat. I had a lot to learn.

But I also know that for my whole life I have been very aware of my…


White people don’t have a history of being oppressed for hundreds of years.

When is man’s inhumanity to man going to end? The news is full of the horror of another promising young Black man gunned down by the force of White oppression.

And yet the backlash is ever-present.

I can never understand what it means to be Black and targeted for different treatment just because of the color of my skin.

But I still hear people talking about experiencing racism as White people from Black and other minority ethnic people and it makes me mad. It is just impossible. It doesn’t happen. …


Pushed onto train tracks by boys being boys — this is for people who still think women are overreacting.

Trigger warning: Video contains disturbing images of casual violence against women.

Spat on, kicked, tripped up with bike wheels. These young women scurry along, minding their own business, barely acknowledging these attacks – because they are so commonplace.

Women become desensitized to this level of aggression. It starts early on in their lives and doesn’t let up.

This article is not about “man-bashing.” It is a rallying cry for justice and equality.

My 21-year-old son is currently taking a stand with his former school friends after their misogynistic banter in group messages became intolerable.

Misogyny is rife in our schools…


If you’re sober curious, maybe it’s time to bin the booze.

“I mean, who drinks multiple drinks seven nights a week? Like that’s not healthy.” — Gwyneth Paltrow

It was a big confession from health guru and Goop owner Gwyneth.

Whether she was seeking to normalize that level of alcohol consumption or it was a cry for help, it got my attention. It made me feel a little better about the state I had got in before I found help myself. Gray area drinking is that space between the extremes of “rock bottom” and every-now-and-again drinking, where it’s still easy to convince yourself it isn’t a problem.

On the Alcohol Use…

Rosalind Pagan

Writing thought-provoking pieces on feminism, equality and living well. Sign up for more here: https://mailchi.mp/8f3814898dae/rosalind-pagans-writing

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